| Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow |
[06 Feb 2010|02:27pm] |
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mood |
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chiming bells of doom in my head |
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music |
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Nerve | Cancer of Choice |
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It’s Pip’s birthday today : 12. Hard to imagine. Had a nice enough morning, with presents etc. which was fun.
Mum was rushed to hospital on Thursday night, she has some kind of food poisoning and urinary infection, and this has sparked a further vascular episode and ramped up her dementia further. Aggression, arguments, and on top of that she’s ill yet won’t stay in and rest. Impossible.
Hard to know what to do.
Hard to imagine.
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| Drag |
[01 Feb 2010|03:43pm] |
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mood |
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Growling, prickly, vavoom! |
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music |
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Prefab Sprout | The Gunman and Other Stories |
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Every day like the last one; every day like a re-run. Never a truer word spoken, Patti.
Trying to start work on something – displacement activity (cleaning etc) – distraction activity (mucking about on web/ playstation etc) – school runs – television – mum’s medical – overeating – self-loathing.
Abandoned.
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| Frozen Water prompting Drivel |
[09 Jan 2010|08:47am] |
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mood |
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Crude |
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music |
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Steely Dan | Gaucho |
] |
So much cabin fever/low-grade boredom that I thought I ought to “do an update” to this blog. Hmm. So.
The New Year Nifty Night gig went well, Skinbat Scramble did a set amalgamating with the Sons of Quag, so a melange of a set ensued. All good stuff though, and in homage to the soon-to-be weather, I slipped in “Stopped By The Woods On A Snowy Evening”. I also played sampler in the Old Dolphin Brigade, and the Skinbats all joined them for sonic shenanigans.
Another notch closer to graduating, with the last-but-4 essay handed in. The energy for doing the last 4 will have to come from somewhere, I’m not sure quite where at the moment.
Mum; seems OK at the moment. though Xmas proved a bit trying at times. Memory (and its loss) is a funny thing - and hard to fathom. Mood swings, aggression, denial, apathy - all mixed in a souffle of “where did I put that” and repetitive requests - Do you want a cup of tea? - No thanks - Do you want a cup of tea? Harsh.
Xmas was (in spite of above) very pleasant, L was off through until New Year’s, P got ballroom shoes and competition dresses (among lots of other stuff) and none of us were ill.
New Year has been a bit of a damp squib for obvious (weather) reasons, P only went back for 2 days before school closed (it has remained closed since) and it’s still snowing at the moment. L was unable to get to work (no buses) for 2 days, so the Xmas hols have sort of vaguely extended tendrils out into 2010.
Which means lots of PS3, Lost and Pushing Daisies boxsets - and oh yes I almost forgot booking up a 2-week trip to the States for Easter. VEGAS!
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| Blackpool | Medic! | Cloning |
[30 Nov 2009|02:36pm] |
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mood |
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Oh lovely thanks |
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music |
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Harmonia & Eno | Tracks & Traces |
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Ridiculously busy week or two, a little in the way of business, a lot in the way of life’s rich tapestry of pooh. Mum’s medical condition is weakening, her memory is almost breathtakingly bad – like a 10 minute loop of drivel sometimes. Other times lucid and happy, then in a beat depressed and confused. Sis and I have been taking her to a Memory Clinic via NHS; I fear it’s not really helping her much, though it’s useful for us to see that there are others in the same boat. Not sure how this will all play out. We have our annual trust meeting on Weds evening, which will be ineresting…
Just had a call from credit card company – a fraudulent transaction on a card we hardly use. Looking back over a year or so of use, not really anyone “small” or “vague” – and virtually no internet use. Unsure how this can have happened; the cards are stopped and nothing has gone through. Hmmm. Worrying. I needed some more worry.
We (Skinbat Scramble) will be performing something in some shape on 30th December at the Forum. Started a poster for it today, RGAF, ODB, the elusive Brutai… year ending.
Last weekend to Blackpool for P’s national Ballroom and Latin Finals. Lovely ballroom, everything great, though she didn’t get through quite as well as we expected, which was a bit upsetting for us. The judging was all a bit weird, to be honest, with some very strange decisions and eliminations. Ho, and indeed, hum. Before we got to the ballroom, we had to suffer the earsplitting alarm going off in our hotel – at 3.30 and then again at 6.30 in the morning, whipping us from sleep and sending us down the fire stairs into the deserted bowels of the Victorian building and out into a rain-spattered windlashed seafront. Something of the Dunkirk spirit was present in the sleepy and half-dressed guests as we were told it was a false alarm. Things were not quite so jolly the second time around. However… in the zombie-like walk round town the following day, we did manage to hit our favourite Blackpool shop – WHO – for lots of sci-fi vinyl figure action, which proved expensive, but covered several Xmas present vacancies.
As usual, tempers flared over the correct preparation and presentation of P’s hair. I really must go on a hairdressing course soon, otherwise I’m taking some clippers and shaving it off before the next comp.
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| Illness, Whatnot, etc. |
[06 Nov 2009|06:23am] |
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mood |
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post-hoc |
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music |
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Karen O | Where The Wild Things Are |
] |
Much energised by P passing audition to attend the Laban/Place Brighton satellite project until next March. She had a fairly nerve-racking audition, with a lot of competition for the places. Massive confidence boost for her, right before Blackpool.
P and I have been ill (her more than me I must say) with a flu/headache/feverish combo which is now on the retreat; if not actual swine, then it was certainly swinish.
OU progressing well enough, first assignment is in and waiting for the mark. Always nerve-racking I find the first one, if only to gauge and sound out the tutor’s marking/comments and work out how to push the buttons in the correct order.
Lease is up on the car, so looking at the options, might stick with the Kangoo as price is manageable (although it’s gone up, it’s only by a little).
Music: Beatles remasters and Karen O’s Where The Wild Things Are soundtrack...
TV: much enjoying all the art deco stuff on BBC4, and Dollhouse. The Andrew Marr would be great if he stopped the stupid “Who Do You Do” imitations.
Film: meh. Synendoche pretty much stopped me in my tracks.
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| Long Lived Love |
[21 Oct 2009|08:24am] |
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mood |
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 Very Slack |
] |
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music |
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Bob Dylan | Another Side of Bob Dylan |
] |
Having lots of fun with new Dawkins book; origami ftw. Very very quiet at work but I do have a couple of websites to tide me over, and plenty of “unpaid bits” to do…
I spent ages sorting out a backup regime for the computers, seems to be robust.
Our 24th wedding anniversary whizzed past yesterday. Long lived romance and love. And long live romance and love.
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| Testing |
[13 Oct 2009|01:31pm] |
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mood |
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dirrrrrrty |
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music |
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Tiger Lillies | 17th April 2007, Soho Theatre |
] |
Tedium again, as I fear the worst... but I just made some money for once. Back hurts. Tidying, OU reading. Planning to let a hot air lantern off on Halloween.
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| Open | Cambridge | New Skinbat Songs |
[10 Oct 2009|08:44am] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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music |
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Tiger Lillies | Seven Deadly Sins |
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This year’s (the last mwa ha ha) Open Uni Course has started, and I am essaying in earnest. As this is the “home straight” of the degree, my incentive rug has been pulled out from under me, as the result for this year can’t have any impact on my grade (as long as I pass) due to the way courses are aggregated – I simply need to “turn up”. Makes it difficult to work hard. Ho hum.
Last weekend up to Cambridge for P’s last ballroom “qualifier” of the year – she’s just moved up to pre-bronze level, and was very nervous. Didn’t get any medals at all. Never mind, for Blackpool she’ll be competing in her previous level, and so she’s got ages to build up the pre-bronziness. Cambridge was full of guffawing hoorays as the students returned to college, and that was just the parents. Tish-boom.
Yesterday returned to the Granary to progress the next Skinbat recording. Two tracks which had been previously bass and drummed were sprinkled with some guitar, synth and vocal in more or less first takes. Some editing is required (especially of my parts), but the bones are there. Two tracks were emergent – “Dead Rabbit Universe” and “Jack Plug”. Great day with Guy Denning at the engineer controls.
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| Open Recession End |
[14 Sep 2009|07:55pm] |
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mood |
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Wishy-Washy |
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music |
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Talking Heads | Remain In Light |
] |
Lego Star Wars is fantastic – Nick Cave’s Bunny Munro – Pip coming in the final at Gosport – OU course starting.
Life seldom gets any better than this, does it?
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| I Was Missing | OU Start |
[09 Sep 2009|06:31am] |
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mood |
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slightly better than before |
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music |
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Michael Nyman | Drowning By Numbers OST |
] |
Clouds are lifting from me; I missed a gig at the weekend, which wrenched, but I’d have been no good for it, if I ever am. I’m feeling way way better at the moment.
So, we’re all back to work/school (P is happily – so far – at Hove Park)… my work is still dangerously fragile. Mum’s health is up and down. I suppose the rest and relaxation from the Cornwall holiday are leeching away in the day to day trivia and aches.
My OU stuff has arrived for this year (the last year). Big box of books and paperwork – looks more daunting than I hope it is.
Sudden flurry of social engagements and obligations, such that we’re having to miss some invited events; Dance Comp this coming weekend for P,
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| Holiday Remnants | Black Dogs |
[05 Sep 2009|12:28pm] |
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mood |
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quite nice |
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music |
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Pentangle | Sweet Child |
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Stonehenge. Big Stones, made into a henge. Trago Mills. A looney shop outside Liskeard. Huge, jumbled warehouse selling overpriced and cheap goods, a stange selection of stuff, amongst which I found a cheap DVD copy of John Waters’ “Female Trouble” which I snapped up. Lanhydrock House – an amazing Jacobean house which was gutted by fire and then refurbished in late Victorian state of the art. Steampunk brass, polished wood and an aura of menace and sadness I put down to it’s similarity to the mood and architecture of gothic spookiness in novels movies and video games. Speaking of… We walked to Menabilly, the inspiration for Manderley in “Rebecca” – you can’t access (or even see) the actual house but you can walk down to the beach/cove with the cottage in it and look out at the bay where Rebecca died and the second Mrs DeWinter climbed about on rocks and stuff. As did we.
Now I am back home and struggling with a bout of headache/depression/anxiety and torpor that threatens to engulf my entire being. I’m sure it won’t, and family are being ultra supportive, but then again Mum’s got a psych evaluation on Monday that I have to accompany her to, which isn’t helping matters. Dealing with o This is the time, and this is the record of the time.
I will be missing the Skinbat performance at the forum tomorrow night, I feel awful for it, but look forward to more studio soon.
See you on the other side of this time.
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| Holiday Over | Boiler Over |
[02 Sep 2009|07:15am] |
Back from Cornwall holiday to unsettled weather. We had unsettled weather there, too… almost comically miserable though made tolerable by the breaks in it, and the excellent cabin we were staying in. Visited the Eden Project, which had lots of flowers and stuff.
And this http://www.paulcorinmusic.co.uk/ has got to be the strangest attraction I’ve ever been too.
Anyway, the drive back from Cornwall took too long. The boiler is not working, there is no hot water. I will be ripped off by a plumber soon, before I am properly clean again.
Gig Sunday.
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| Tomorrow | Pollard |
[21 Aug 2009|03:28am] |
Getting ready to get ready for trip to Cornwall, packing endless leads and chargers and camera bits. Excited, really, though, to get away.
Last night to the Theatre Royal to see "Annie", staged in the original complete version rather than the very strange and slightly repellent movie version. Particularly resonant the political/Hooverville bits with the ol' Credit Crunch. Fantastic, it was, with Su Pollard as Miss Hannigan.
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| Inevitability |
[19 Aug 2009|07:11pm] |
Mum’s memory/denial problems get worse, resulting in her failing to make doctor’s appointments, which (may or may not be) urgent. At least, she percieves it as urgent in one conversation/on one day – and then “goes for a walk/goes for a bus ride” Just keep swimming.
Curiously, this latest iteration comes just at the end (for me) of a bout of semi-serious depression. In the last three or so days, I have felt lightened and mildly energised, I’ve been really down and negative for around a month, hopefully it’s at an end. And this Mum business doesn’t hound me back into my pit.
New Nifty Eagu and the Glo-Pilots album, “Ezoteric” is out now, and is pretty good. Generously, there’s a picture of me on the sleeve thanks to my short stint as synth player at the penultimate Glo-Pilots gig. Gigs: A skinbat iteration will perform on 6th Sept at the Forum; the exact nature of the beast is somewhat in flux, but may include performance of some of the songs from the GP’s new one, and probably will feature a guest star from the Packabeats. Beat that.
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| Town | Haircut | Bang! |
[14 Aug 2009|04:30pm] |
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Into town today with Pip. Nice little walk round, didn’t get much. Met L and handed Pip over for the afternoon, freeing me up for an afternoon of getting a haircut and playing Playstation until they get home after the cinema…
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| Memories | Bracknell Dancing |
[12 Aug 2009|12:58pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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Verdi | Aida |
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Family meeting recently with sister and mum regarding her ongoing and increasing medical problems, failing memory, etcetera. This was largely prompted by her tedious and repetitive calls to my sister, mostly for very little reason – the calls are wildly disruptive to her evenings. I don’t suffer so much, due to the long-established (dating back to my move away from home) habit of “I will call you mum”. We were trying to put over to mum that her calls are both disruptive and worrying for both of us and our families. I think mum only just grasped the problem – and after all there are greater things happening to her. I’m not sure if it will make any difference. As we “compared notes” it became apparent that these memory fugues are serious – she really doesn’t remember either the episodes or what she does and says in them. Worrying… At least we have confronted the problem and named it for her now; perhaps this lays the groundwork for dealing head-on at a later date.
In jollier news, we recently drove up to Bracknell to attend a Ballroom and Latin qualifier for Pip. The M25 is not my friend, but the drive was ok – and the results were satisfying, with Pip qualifiying for Blackpool in Ballroom (she already had in latin). It was also a good outing for my new digital camera, which is a pretty good bit of kit.
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| Michael Jackson's Big Butt |
[10 Aug 2009|07:44pm] |
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mood |
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 pensive |
] |
To Blatch for the annual Earwig show. The usual shenanigans, with little skits and performances - all very charming and fun. P was involved in one puppet-based interpretation of MJ’s “Thriller”, all very funny so far - except in the middle of the performance, for no apparent reason, the kids swung round revealing paper plates painted to resemble nude buttocks, the music cut to Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby’s Got Back” and, in unison, they gyrated their “butts” at the audience. Suddenly, the music cut back to The King Of Pop, and all was once more well with the world as the puppets once more danced...
Curious, and slightly unsettling.
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| More rationalisation |
[07 Aug 2009|09:38am] |
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mood |
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 touched |
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music |
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Peter Hammill | Skin |
] |
Pip is at her last day at Earwig, with a presentation this afternoon, I am at home after a devastating night of evil, paranoid dreams.
I have in the last few days rationalised my “blogging” such as it is, as follows:
I am abandoning MySpace for the cess it is.
Continuing with Twittering.
Starting a new “master” blog with Wordpress.
Updating from Macjournal, which will feed (the same entries) to both Wordpress and my old LiveJournal. Exceptions will be mobile updates (or if I forget to push both export buttons) in which case, a few entries might make Wordpress but not Livejournal.
This should save me time, and, as virtually no-one reads my blogs anyway, will inconvenience no-one.
Testing 1-2-3...
Skinbats gig on Sunday 8th September at the Forum... not sure of support/supporting yet. It will be the last live performance for a while, probably until Xmas time, though there are some nascent studio things and some odds and ends to tidy.
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| Dancing - Deaf Cat - Hannigan |
[17 Jul 2009|09:02am] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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music |
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Cocteau Twins | Milk and Kisses |
] |
It's been a while since I did a blog. Lots has happened. I have finished decorating the kitchen (yesterday) so I should have clean fingernails now (no black grout rammed down them - ouch).
Last week was the summer show for P's dance school - the excellent Hove Dance Centre, they have a lovely web site :) - it was very good, held at Dorothy Stringer School - nice theatre venue. In addition to the kids and some adult classes doing their thing with (mostly) dancing and some singing, there was a novelty item involving - me. Three of the fathers of the younger girls were asked - along with one experienced dancer who was choreographing - to form a foursome to do a waltz-based dance, cutesy dads and their little girls. I was initially reluctant, for reasons of huge embarrassment and time, but did agree after coaxing. It was kept a "secret" from everyone else - families and most of the other dancers at the school - we rehearsed on Sunday mornings and evenings, P and I did quite a lot at home. It went quite well - the whole event was professionally filmed, so I will see how it went later... I actually thoroughly enjoyed it. There was some applause...
The cat went for her annual check up/jabs and was pronounced deaf. We've known for some time that all was not right with her - and suspected her hearing/balance - but evidently she is as deaf as a post. Apart from that, she's OK for her age. It seems odd that we'd not figured out the deafness, but cats work as creatures of habit - visually - they know that, for example, if she cries and we get up, she goes to the back door to be let out, and if she cries outside the back door (eventually) she will be let in. It's sad, but we're all giving her extra strokes. And the nickname possibilities are endless...
L and I to the Komedia to see Lisa Hannigan couple of days ago. Splendid, warm-hearted and uplifting it was. Sort of a meeting between the lovelier end of folk with This Mortal Coil, Velvets, Joanna Newsom, and in spite of minimum electrics, the song-ending apocalypses of, say, Doll by Doll. Great cover of Dylan's "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues" - shiver down the spine great.
At home, algorithms continue to mis-align and disjoint, we'll work through it.
P is on her last 4 days of primary education. The SATS may or may not be valid, may or may not be important, may or may not mean anything at all - but she did exceptionally well in them. Perhaps, unlike me, she has an aptitude for turning the correct (or at least the expected) educational keys to please her educators. In vaguely related educational housekeeping, I'm still waiting for the results of my penultimate OU year (Creative Writing). I have committed to the final year, which (assuming this year's result is OK) should get me a Ba(Hons)2:1 even if I crap up the last year.
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